Part II

That last post might have been a little... well... let's just say...
Okay, so here it is, I was pretty much pumped, because I suck at basketball, and only hit one in every fifty shots I take. And there I had it! right when it counted, when everybody was watching, drained a 30 footer from at least 15 feet from the basket.

So there I was, having just nailed that five foot shot, and feeling so good, joggin' back down the court to get on D and only slightly fazed by the previously mentioned chuckles. And one of the sideliners yells, "Hey, Jon! Missing something?"

Uh hello? I nailed that lay-up. But this is High School.

Have you guys read Daytona's post on washing pants? Well I, like Daytona (I'll take any chance I get to associate myself with that guy. Did I mention I work with him? And I'm reading the same book as him? Oh how I long for the day when he might put me as a link on his blog... sorry, back the the story) don't wash my pants very often either and so, since I try to change my underwear more frequently, there develops a lopsided ratio where the number of underwear I wear dramatically outnumbers the pants. With this many pairs of underwear floating around, it is ineivitable that eventually, one is going to get stuck in the pant leg of the pants that I am wearing. One might expect that this would be easily noticed, and the underwear would be removed from the pant leg shortly after putting the pants on, but one might be wrong.

So there it was, my dirty little gonch, lying on the shiny, well lit, hardwood floor, one hundred feet down the court from where I stood.

This is the perfect opportunity for an interactive polling session.

What should the little grade ten Begger do? Does he

(a) Sheelpishly walk the 100 foot walk of shame to actually pick up the underpants that have so recently droped from the bottom of his pant leg?
or
(b) Not touch them again, laughing off any association with the shameful knickers, and certainly not deigning to touch them again, and perhaps promptly leaving the gym
or
(c) Here you end the story. What does The Begger do in YOUR ending?

Part I

So I want to thank everyone for their advice (enter my contest! win MONEY!!!) and I will still be taking entries till December 24 so feel free to enter a second entry or tell your wisest friends about my contest.

As thanks for your help and to illustrate my need for advice:

So once I was in highschool. It was sometime in the late nineties, the part that wasn't completely dominated by Kurt Cobain's music, and when that crazy basketball fad was going. As a typical high school student I spent my lunch hour shootin' hoops and dreaming big dreams, wondering how the coach managed to miss my incredible potential as the team Pick Setter (for those of you who aren't basketball fans, the Pick Setter plays just South of the Point Guard).

One day I was playing B-ball with a bunch of friends, and on this particular day, a large portion of the jocks were watching. I dribbled down the court and gave myself a secret "high-five" as I notice that the d-man (that's the guy who was trying to stop me from scoring) was givin' just a little to much slack.

So easy breazy in goes my jump shot, as most of you who know me would expect and back down the court I go. Phft, big deal, I could hit that all day, my calm, unshakable game face only slightly fazed by a few chuckles from the knuckle heads on the sidelines...

To be continued!

Read the post before this one!

Today I was thinking, you know what, I'm sad. But then, hokey shi–zen! Have you ever felt blue and wondered if there was anything good in the world? Have you ever thought, I don't know if here is any real tenderness, and real companionship to be found out there. Well check this out!

http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/page.cgi/dog-says-i-love-you

Here I am thinking, this dog knows something I don't.

Oh yeah! And read my last post! Enter my contest! It's not hard! Win money!

Contest Here! $$$ Attention! $$$ Win Money!

Alright! I propose a contest. I want a piece of advice, a piece of constructive criticism, and I am willing to pay to get it. Wouldn’t it be nice if we had someone who was really looking out for us? Someone to help us make those most difficult decisions, those most difficult movements in life that get us to the place where it is best for us to be?

I am offering a minimum of $10 dollars to whoever can give me the best piece of advice.
Each entry will be judged by its practicality (can I understand how to put the advice into action? Is it more a platitude than a piece of advice?), specificity (is it advice for me and not advice that could be for anyone? why this advice? and why me?), urgency (how important is it? And how urgent it is for the benefit of my being, not being about something trivial?), originality (does this piece of advice bring to my attention something that I have not thought of? Something which I would be unlikely to have implemented in my life if not for the help of your words?); and finally, each entry will be judged on style (this is primarily the sensitivity and persuasiveness with which the advice is presented, but does not exclude humor or poetic qualities).

When I said a minimum of $10, I was saying that even I am unimpressed by every entry, I will still award a $10 prize to the “best” entry, but if I am truly persuaded by a valuable piece of advice, I will increase the prize money to $20 and offer a $10 second place prize if there is a second piece of advice that is of great value to me as well.

So what do you think? Please enter! Tell your friends! Or rather, tell friends of mine who don’t read my blog! You may enter as many as three separate entries which can be posted here or emailed to me if you feel hesitant about posting them here. Thank you in advance for all of you who are so kind as to participate in this contest, and I hope that you find the treasure of your heart at the end of a rainbow.

Love,

The Beggar